Voice

A couple days ago, I went running for the first time since I left the States, I needed it—even if that did mean getting lost in Bracciano, flinching every time a lizard darted in front of me, having a minor freak out and jumping about three feet in the air when I saw a snake, only to realize that—on the return run—that it was actually an old rope. Go figure. Ah well, I'm sure those two extra calories I burned from jumping over that dumb rope probably evened out the three servings of bread with olive oil and salt that I ate. :) I wanted to run to the Lake, so I could just sit, think, and enjoy some tranquility. I came around a bend towards the lake, and knew I was close, so I kept running so I could get there. I kept running, and ran some more, and some more. I could see the Lake, but I couldn't figure out a way to actually get to it. In the back of my mind I kept reminding myself that I still had to run back home, so the further it took me to get there, the further I would have to run back. After 40 minutes, I decided to settle for a distant view—I found this run down gate and an old trail that had been overgrown, and found myself a nice little rock (that I shared with one too many ants, and a couple creepy spiders) and just took some time to relax and reflect; it was nice, and well needed.

Nice view right? Yeah, this is where I live!

Diana, my host sister left for her mission a couple days ago; she is serving in the Salt Lake Temple Square mission and is in the Provo MTC now, so it's kind of like we traded places! Her parting advice was to not lose courage with learning Italian; she also told me that she knew I was supposed to be here because she knew that her Mom would miss her and needed another son. Obviously, by son, she meant daughter, but I didn't mind the mix up in words, I know how it is. I'm sad to see her go; you know when you meet those people that you just instantly bond with? Diana was one of those people for me, and even though we only spent a couple of days together, I can tell that we have a long friendship ahead of us.

Diana, my host sister, and I at the airport, right before she left for her mission in Salt Lake City, Utah

I've spent the last couple days hanging out with my host mom, Mara, and trying to get a lay of the land. Bracciano is absolutely beautiful! Did I mention that Tom Cruise got married here? Yeah, there is a castle in Bracciano, and that's where Tom Cruise was married. So, basically what I'm saying is that this place is beautiful. I have a lot of exploring to do and a lot of things to figure out, but I definitely cannot complain about my location. :)

And Italy in general is great, but definitely not without challenges. I know people have been where I am and can relate to how I feel, but I definitely feel a bit out of place sometimes—I have my moments where I just feel alone. I know, how can I be complaining when I'm in Italy, but it's not really a complaint, it's just kind of what adjusting to any new home would be like. It's different than traveling around where you see new sites everyday and are with a group of friends; now, I'm trying to establish a new life here—3 months is a pretty significant amount of time.

Having blonde hair is pretty much the tip of the iceberg with differences between me and the typical Italian. And honestly, it's not really even the differences that get to me, I truly do think we have more things in common overall, and from what I've seen, I really like the Italian culture and people. The challenge is more the fact that I can’t express myself the way I want to because I don't have the language down well enough. Before I came, I talked to a friend, who had recently gone on a study abroad to Spain; she told me that when she first got to Spain, she felt like she lost her personality. I didn't quite get what she meant until now. This is hard, even to articulate in English...I guess I feel like I have lost myself a little—not that I don't know who I am, but more so that I can't express who I am to everyone here, and so other people don't know my true personality because it's difficult to get to know me when I can't express my feelings/thoughts/beliefs well. I prefer listening to talking anyway, but it's beyond frustrating for me to not be able to say what I want to say when I do actually want to say it. Does that make sense? My host mom was explaining to a group of people about why I was here, and that I didn't speak very much Italian, and it was just frustrating. I didn't want to be rude and interrupt her, so I waited until she was done (which was kind of painful) and then tried to explain myself in my own way. I guess it’s just a lesson in taking initiative, my host mom is absolutely wonderful and always means well, but its better that what people here know of me, comes from me—even if it does come via broken Italian. That said, I am—honestly—so happy to be here. I feel like I'm going to learn a lot in these three months; I already feel like I've learned a lot and I've only been here a few days! I went for a bike ride into central Bracciano the other day, and it was just what I needed. I was sitting near the castle (where Tom Cruise was married) just studying some Italian when an old man walked over to see if I wanted a picture taken. Why not? He took one, and then we started talking (in Italian) and I was explaining to him why I was here and that I wanted to work on my Italian; he just told me "piano, piano." Which means: slowly. He also suggested that I come back to see the sunrise. Will do!!

The picture the old man I met, Gabrielle, took of me 

 Some panorama shots I took (Thank you Grandpa Bob for getting me such a great camera!:)